My Dear Isaac,
As I sit here collecting my thoughts and reminiscing over our first year as a family of six, I am so thankful to God that He chose me to be your mommy. I have been blessed four times with the incredible honor of being someone's everything. To be a mother is to look into the eyes of a creature who does not yet know themselves apart from her and realize that she is the only one who will remember holding that space. That bond, though it changes as you grow up and discover yourself, never leaves my heart. Though our relationship evolves, for me it is all still there, just with new layers. I have known, loved, and cared for you until, and infinitely beyond, the moment you started lifting your head, noticing your own tiny hands and feet and presence in the room. If there is one thing that motherhood has taught me, it is that every single child is a new adventure, and a new angle in a mirror reflecting my own soul. Each of you are uniquely mine and I am constantly learning new things about myself and the world through being your mom. We are all such magnificent creation, and have so much to give.
As I mentioned in your birth story, all of your firsts this year have been my lasts with a new baby. I have cherished every single one, and I am still relishing each moment you decide to try out a couple steps walking to me. I no longer feel sad as your enchanting personality begins to shine through and light up all of our days. You are adored by us all. With you and Callen I feel like I am almost raising twins. I feel that you two play well together; something I was worried about with how young Callen was when you arrived. You seem to find joy in each other's company. My heart was so full to see Callen walk by and gently tap you on the head when you did tummy time on the floor, or when you would giggle each time he laughed. You both participate when I read books or sing songs at lunchtime, sitting side-by-side in the Bumbos. Callen talks to you in his own language, I think, more than anyone else. Whether you understand yet or not, you are definitely along for the ride. It is my prayer that you two will be close your whole lives. Having a close sibling is such a gift, and I am grateful that all of my children have one of those.
Big and strong, you love to climb up on our living room table, plant your feet, and fearlessly stand up. You seem to understand and pick up on things quickly, like you know you're the youngest and want to catch up and contribute to the joke or conversation. It reminds me of one of my favorite accomplishments to date. Traveling to Greece pregnant with you was one of my more daring decisions. Having planned an ambitious site-seeing trip for our family before I knew I was pregnant, instead of cancelling the trip I still did EVERYTHING planned, just with you inside me. I have always tried to do things I am scared of, and never regretted laughing in the face of fear and going for it. Together, we climbed up and down multiple mountains, explored ancient caves full of little rooms with stories long forgotten, swam in the ocean, and stood before an active volcano. You were there with us, even before you knew you were, and we did it all.
Carrying you was a powerful journey for me in which I discovered that incredible strength that can be yours when you let go of fear and trust in the Lord to sustatin you through the life he has given. This is just one example of a thousand instances where being your mom has made me feel powerful, confident, and blessed in all circumstances. We always have the choice to let go of fear and embrace what is certain in any unknown. My verse for you comes from Philippians 4. "I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." I love you, Isaac. I cannot wait to watch you grow in strength and in all things joy and confidence in your place in God's kingdom. You are powerful and full of life, and I am so very proud of the little man you are. Thank you for this beautiful journey, your first year. I continue to grow and stretch with you.
Love always,
Mommy
