Hello Pensieve, it has been a while. I feel like that is my intro to so many of my posts but the good thing about waiting a bit between entries is the pictures and memories mount up like crazy and there is no lack of material to cover.
That being said, WOW. My last post I had recently discovered we were pregnant. Now, we know that Scarnato Baby #2 is a little boy and we are blasting through second trimester. I seriously have no idea where this pregnancy went. I feel like with Aria it took ages to get to the halfway mark, and with this little one (who judging by my enormous bump already isn't very little at all) I can't even believe how far we have already come. He is quite the little mover. During our recent Level 2 sono, which I am happy to report went as well as I could have hoped for, the technician remarked that he was a very active baby. I liked this technician much more than the woman who did my Level 2 for Aria. Also, baby boy made sure to broadcast that he is indeed a baby boy, and that was a riot.
With so many inspiring people in every occupation under the sun, it is sad that for something so emotional and intimate for some parents, there are people who forget or don't take in the gravity of what they do for a living. For an ultrasound technician I can imagine the pressure they are under is intense. The OB Level 2 Ultrasound, for those who may not be familiar, is usually performed at 20-21 weeks by a technician from the hospital the mother will be delivering at, and they must get every measurement within the given hour or the mother needs to come back for another appointment. The hospital cannot confirm that the mother's and baby's various measurements are "normal" without picture proof so the appointment can be pretty intense and at times uncomfortable as the technician sometimes needs to press and dig and wiggle to get a good angle. Like I said, I can imagine the pressure those technicians are under. However, you can at least verbalize what you are looking at for the parent's benefit, maybe crack a smile or two, congratulate them, etc. Decency isn't very costly. Aria's Level 2 wasn't a very fun experience as a first timer with a very impersonal and cold technician. An hour is a long time to be poked and prodded while looking at your baby's random parts on a screen and not know what the hell is going on. Thankfully, once it's over you know everything is ok, because the hospital and doctors all need to confirm! But I had a much nicer experience this time around, and got lots of cool pictures! She got her measurements while explaining everything we were looking at which I was particularly grateful for, and then the doctor and student who were there came in and basically played around with the baby for another few minutes. It was awesome and we learned a lot! Kailyn and Stephen were in the room with me =) At one point we just sat and watched him hop around like a little frog for a minute. So cute.
Between my last post and now, we attended Jen & Joe Poma's Wedding, completed a Whole30, found out baby's gender via blood test at only 10 weeks! (so cool!), celebrated Easter, saw Julia off to Mexico, attended a few parent/child workshops at the local library where we met some new friends out here, started watching Blake (neighboring farmer's little boy) on fridays and Saturdays, discovered Usborne books and had a book party (obsessed), celebrated mother's day, Went to VA for Ally & JCs wedding, had Jamie and Michael down from Florida, and visited Rhode Island, all the while Stephen growing some vineyards like it's his job....cus it is! =P
Travelling to Virginia for the wedding was a whirlwind. Aria did really well for an 8 hour drive. On the way up she slept for the first 3 hours and then stayed up looking out the window for the rest. We were amazed and wondered if she was sleeping with her eyes open because it was totally weird that she stayed quiet for that long. Usually the car puts her to sleep at night. She was not as happy on the way home, but doing the travelling at night is always the best way to go to keep her sleeping relatively on schedule. The wedding was beautiful, of course. And, it was so special to see Stephen as a groomsman and Aria as a flower girl. Aria didn't really get the concept so I ended up doing her job down the aisle while carrying her...which was hilarious and humiliating but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. After the ceremony she then proceeded to explode her diaper in a way I haven't seen her do since infancy, all over her white dress. Of all the days. Thankfully it was multilayered and you couldn't really tell if you didn't know, but it took both Stephen and I giving each other moral support as we teamed up to change her in the grass behind a tree.
It was still so wonderful being with family we don't see often enough and getting to spend some time with Aria's godparents, Landon and Laura.
The weekend after that Jamie and her fiance, Michael, came to visit from Florida. Spending time with Stephen's cousins Jamie and Michelle always feels like we saw them yesterday, and that it hasn't been a complete year since our last union. I have always loved spending time with them because they have a sense of humor unlike anything I've ever come in contact with elsewhere and have always from the moment we met made me feel like part of the family. One of my favorite early memories of our dating relationship was staying with them in Montauk over our first summer together. During Jamie's visit, we got to meet Michael for the first time, and stayed up all night catching up and covering just about everything we could fit in one night. We were sad to see them leave, but enjoyed every minute of them being here.
The following weekend Stephen and I were very excited to have to ourselves, so we took advantage and jumped on the Cross Sound Ferry for a little family getaway. We do not know if we will have another opportunity before the new baby gets here! After docking in Connecticut, we drove to a B&B in Providence, RI. We also visited Newport, where my mom grew up. It was fun facetiming her from in front of her old house and getting to see where her room was. I was worried that the B&B I booked wouldn't be as pretty as the pictures because that often happens but we were incredibly happy when we got there. Staying at Edgewood Manor truly feels like being transported back in time. Built in 1905, they call it a Greek Revival Mansion, with 18 rooms and loads of art and period antiques. See pictures. It really was quite the place to stay. We happened to get a room with a King bed and a Jacuzzi as well, which was not part of the description when I booked but we were not complaining. With a delicious breakfast in the deal every morning, we highly recommend staying here if anyone visits Rhode Island! Another perk was that it was five minutes away from the Roger Williams Park Zoo. This was pretty much the only thing we had planned besides exploring, and Aria had a blast, though it was extremely hard to get her to stay in her stroller.
One thing that has been humbling for me recently is learning how to let my baby girl develop her quirky and independent personality. Between fights for control over food and her apparent complete lack of concern as to whether Stephen and I are around when she strolls off into the unknown, it can be very frustrating figuring out how to guide without crushing her spirit. She seems to have these crazy leadership qualities and a confidence to do things her way that are difficult to hone when the communication barrier is still there. She tries, and she is very verbal, but we're just not there yet.
As a perfectionist and control freak myself, this has been a major struggle for me--mostly because I just want to do everything right. I want her to only eat healthy things; I want her to be felicitously happy always, I want to snuggle her all day long, I want to protect her from everything I possibly can. I don't want to screw her up in any way! But parenting isn't a set of rules to follow and succeed, though I have found the wisdom of other mothers currently in the same boat or having already come through it to be one of my greatest sources of comfort and encouragement. Be careful with online mom forums though! There is no better way to feel like a total failure than trying to listen to everyone's dogmatic opinion of how to raise YOUR child.
Every family dynamic is unique to all others, but children are individuals, not carbon copies, and praise God for that because I'd be in a way worse place if I had to raise a little me (though sometimes I fear her mannerisms that resemble me are my biggest struggle.) I have been told by my mom that she would have to run to keep up with me when walking down the block, and there were times when she actually threw my food at the wall out of frustration. If I believed in Karma...I'd call her a b-word. Aria, when you read this some day with a daughter of your own, know that you come from a line of strong-willed women. The independence and constant curiosity makes for some hilarious situations, like getting stuck in the middle of a stroller zipper back. See pictures.
Back to Rhode Island. I think highlights for Aria were driving over bridges where she could see the water. She became somewhat of a water specialist and would make silly remarks when the time on the bridge didn't last long enough for her. "Again!" "Waduh!" "No!" She's fascinated with water and loves taking baths. However, we are in that phase where she absolutely cannot resist touching everything she sees, so when I put her in the biggest bath she's ever had at the B&B, she touched the jet sensor and totally freaked out. It was hilarious but also hard to explain. We ended up saying the jets were super bubble makers and that seemed to help. We ended up all getting in together in our underwear to make her feel safe again. LOL! It was so fun.
She also stopped everything when we looked at the seals at the zoo to demonstrate "swimming" on the pavement. We love our little character, regardless of the spectacle she makes of us.
Roger Williams was a great first zoo experience. The petting zoo and the Carousel Village where she got to ride a pony and a train were big hits. I may have said she was 2 already so she could ride all the attractions but I hope no one holds that against me! I liked the setup of the petting zoo. You groomed on one side of the fence and fed on the other side so the goats were content to stay in one place and you didn't need to go chasing after them. We began with a green brush but once the purple brush was spotted we would have nothing else, and that iconic purple brush became a hot button topic the remainder of our trip. While feeding the goats she kept sticking her whole hand in the goat's mouth which was terrifying but she'd fuss, and then go right back to do it again.
Again, I don't know where she picks up this fearlessness. So far, the only things she's been afraid of are pictures of animals with sharp teeth. It would be interesting to learn about the psychology behind the development of fear. As far as I know, she has no parameter for thinking sharks or alligators or snakes are scary but it seems to be an innate reaction. Maybe the way their teeth make the animal look angry is associated with a human facial expression? I wish that innate reaction carried over to things like running into a busy street. I'm terrified of letting her out of my site ever when we are outside.
Looking forward to an exciting summer. It's already off to a busy start. God has been so good to us with business and we have had plenty to keep us on our toes. Always looking for visitors out here on the North Fork, a wonderful place to be! Cheers!
